Navigating Treacherous Waters (Kirk)

Hey Joce,

You're quite the writer ...are you really that quick and witty???

Either way it's rather sexy and appealing, and well I suppose your cute pics help as well.

I've always swooned for a lady arm wrestler and one who could navigate treacherous waters!

Anyways fire back I'd like to chat with you!

Kirk

Hi Kirk,

You look like quite the lady killer with your spiky hair, North Face jacket, and shiny teeth. Why on earth are you attempting to pick up chicks on Facebook? Though I guess if you're the kinda guy looking for lady arm wrestlers than maybe this IS the place.

Up early on a Sunday morning you must be headed out for a round of golf. Don't spill anything on your white pants! 

Joce

LOL that's hilarious. I'm not sure about a lady killer but I'm rather outgoing and flirtatious ...

You are correct...I was up to play golf just finished up And now it's time to head back to town.

I managed to keep my white pants clean :-)

Whatcha doing later !!

Kirk

I see, that makes sense. Cast your net wide, flirt with ALL the girls, and you're sure to catch a "catch."

I could go on. But why?

Joce

Well now Ms Joce

Your idea of casting the net wide and far sounds easy enough. Not sure if I'd have the time to haul in the catch and sift through the rubble ....however picking quality over quantity has anyways been my program.

Anyways ...Feel free to touch me up at 555-XXX-XXXX maybe I can convince you to conversate or meet up :-)

Kirk

Hey Kirk,

I am confident you are a very charming, friendly, nice guy, and I so appreciate the flirting! It's very flattering. However, I am also fairly confident that I am not your "type." If we were in a crowded room or at a party, I am not the girl that would catch your eye, nor would you be inspired to chat me up or ask me out. For whatever reason, you find me intriguing online: I am certain that wouldn't translate to real life. In real life I'm short, my eyelashes and nails and boobs and lips are real, I spend my free time working on my novel and tackling complicated recipes in the kitchen. I'm sure there are metric tons of beautiful leggy blondes in jeans and rhinestone-dotted t-shirts that would be more than happy to perch on your lap at the hippest spot in town while swilling a glass of muscato. I don't own a pair of jeans. I don't drink muscato. I'm sorry if this sounds bitchy (OMG it totally is!), but better to offend you online than disappointing you in person with my quirky, nerd girl sarcastic self.

I wish you tremendous success in all that you pursue and look forward to seeing a pic on your Facebook with that gorgeous girl. Happy trolling, Kirk ;) J

LOL

You crack me up... The women I date don't drink moscato ! Only Riesling! J/K

As far as real parts on women , I don't discriminate however real is always better ....most of the women I date have real parts ....more importantly just a real person. Physical attributes will attract but won't be the catalyst to keep me around. So you'd be in luck !

Why don’t you just say yes???

Why must you judge me by my outer appearance or small snippets of FB posts ??

I'm actually a respectable upstanding man. Don't be scurrd !

Kirk

It takes a lot to scare me: for instance, green or black mambas, being buried alive, a lifetime working discount retail. You on the other hand do not scare me.

Everybody judges by outward appearance (duh, and those who say they don't are liars) and contrary to what they tell you in elementary, you can tell a lot about a man by his shoes (and pants). I never said you weren't respectable and upstanding, I'm sure you are. I only observed after reviewing your Facebook page that perhaps we were puzzle pieces from a different puzzle and to attempt to fit us together would be futile. My puzzle is a serene windswept beach off the north coast of Scotland; your puzzle features a raucous thatched hut bar in Cabo San Lucas. Tequila shots anyone?

C'mon Kirk! Look at me, LISTEN to me, you've hated girls like me since high school. Just because we share mutual friends does not mean that we are compatible people.  You're just being persistent because I bet nobody ever says no to you. Am I right? (You've still never admitted why you are attempting to pick up chicks on Facebook, seems really weird.)

Keep it real, bro,

J