Dearest Joce,
Over the span of a few days I have slipped into a state of emotional limbo. So many things have been said and done that were horribly destructive to each of us. I have somehow, in my selfishness and greed overlooked your needs, and likewise you have failed to encompase mine. Some how, withstanding all our Pillar of love has supported us through some of the worst of times.
I find it impossible to collect, organize and communicate clearly my thoughts verbally. There fore I resorted to this letter of thought, to maby help clarify the inner workings of my mind. I am hurt, that you have somehow lead yourself to believe that you are allone. That you must find friendship and contentness in Avery. My fealings on this subject, are verry strong. I fail to understand why, so many times we have jeaperdized our love and happieness so that you could remain friends with Avery. I have often pondered "Would you be willing to risk the verry fabric of our relationship on the friendship of one who has caused so much anguish despair and turmoil between us?" I fail to grasp the understanding of WHY?
You've expressed that your reasoning for turning to Avery was to fill some part of your life that was empty, a void that unless filled, would result in your ultimately sufficating emotionaly. I cant help but ask myself, what is it that I fail to provide? I give you my verry soul, I devote all that I have to win your love, acceptance, honor, faith, respect and trust. These questions tear at my heart. You have tried to explain your need for Averys friendship, you have expressed the need to have a friend that aknowledges you, so I respect this and try to understand it. We have discussed this matter, but at a time when neather of us were in a state of composure, regretfully may confused emotions lashed out uncheked in the chaotic turmoil.
I love you more than you know. I need you happy if I am to find happieness in this cold and spitefull world. Therefore I have bowed down to you, and granted your pleed for this friendship. Prommising that there would be no more mistrust, quarling, or bitter cold fealings, expressed thereby securing our love and friendship.
I ask only that you understand the slow taxing pain that this request has and is causing me. If I am to pull through this I need your love and support. Do not take this pain as a pathettic display of weakness, for these are the true fealings of a life and soul, not to be taken lightly.
I am deeply sorry for dredging up the burried past, but it is something I had to do. Please understand and consider this letter.
MY LOVE
Joce...The name brings life rushing like the fiercest flood through my vaiens. Your love envelopes me, tames me sattisfies my every desire. By your side I feal as mighty and revered as a king! Even the heavens rejoice in the strength of our love, exaulting and bringing endless light to the darkness that surrounds the world. All the anjels of the heavens respect and admire what raw pure love we share, riveling even that of their unconditional love. May my love bring you honor, strenth, undying happieness joy and security, outlasting the bounderies of eternity. I will stand strong by your side supporting you allways. May our sweet love last beyond time...
Forever your love,
Clinton
Friday, April 1, 2011
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